It hurts to write right now…

Updated: Oct 4, 2021


Muslim mental health anxiety bipolar mood disorder mania psychotic episode
















I’m not sure why. There are soooo many posts sitting in the draft box but I never hit publish because I think they are not done yet. I still have this to add and that. I know they will never be perfect but I still keep chasing the perfection.


With Covid, I feel utterly depleted. I’m physically fine alhumdulillah but mentally I’m not sure. I have a hard time writing about:


Fear

Anxiety

Uncertainty

Panic

Guilt

Gratitude

Helplessness

Sad

Overwhelmed

Alone

Tired

Despair

“Tight” (can that be a feeling?)

Dark


Just breathe….


Take it one day at a time, one post at time, a chore at a time, one zoom call at a time.

This is part of Allah’s plan and it is ok for me to not have a clue as to what is going on because I’m not in control. I’m not in charge of my affairs. And oddly that is very relieving. That’s why Alhumdulillah I have this du’a up on my wall:


يَا حَيُّ يَا قَـيُّومُ بِرَحْمَتِكَ أَسْتَغِيثُ أَصْلِحْ لِي شَأْنِي كُلَّهُ ، وَلَا تَكِلْنِي إِلَى نَفْسِي طَرْفَةَ عَيْنٍ


“Ya Ḥayyu ya Qayyūm, by Your Mercy I seek help, rectify for me all of my affairs and do not leave me to depend on myself, even for the blink of an eye.” (Source: Hakim)


#covid #dua #hope #blinkofaneye #Allah

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