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“It’s all my fault”

“It’s all my fault.” This misconception around mental illness makes us believe that we spilled the coffee when in actuality, it was the table with a missing leg. But this isn’t easy to understand when all you can focus on is the coffee mug.

That’s how mental illness is. It consumes you so much that you lose touch with reality. You go in your own bubble and keep pointing the finger inwards. And though, that self-pointing can be tied to taking responsibility, you are doing anything but that. You actually start to feel shame and think that you deserve this.

Knowing that having a mental illness is not all your fault can be relieving. There are many causes for having a disorder and it has very little to do with what you did. You must familiarize yourself with this myth so that you don’t fall in it’s trap. And what a great way to do that then by reading and sharing this post.

“The belief that mental problems are attributed to a lack of faith, spirit possession, bad karma, and the evil eye is strongly engrained in many non-Western cultures. This may encourage families and individuals to avoid seeking help for their psychological problems for fear that they will shame their family or that they are revealed as being weak. Some cultures also believe that admitting to having a mental health problem is a form of loss of face and shameful

Reference: (Aloud & Rathur, 2009; Cauce et al., 2002; Sarfraz & Castle, 2002; Vogel, Wade, & Hackler, 2007).

This quote from the research paper “Mental Health Help-Seeking Behaviors of Muslim Immigrants in the United States: Overcoming Social Stigma and Cultural Mistrust” really hits home. Many Muslims who are diagnosed with mental illnesses think that they have done something wrong to deserve it. What’s worse is when others start saying that it is your fault too. “God is punishing you for all the bad things you did.” Oh that’s a classic one. And oh how I’d like to slap the people who said this to my mom when I got sick. So you’re telling me that Allah is punishing me? Oh really, are you some prophet who gets revelation from Allah telling you that I’m being punished!?

Pardon the venting rant, I just needed to get that out. However, there is a point to be made. Allah could be punishing someone with a mental disorder but He could also be testing someone with it because Allah loves to test those His favourite slaves. And being sentenced by Allah is really not a bad thing. Why? Because it is all a purification. After all, diamonds are made under pressure.

So, what to do with this blaming business? Whether you point the finger or someone else, just remember that having an illness is part of your destiny. Diamonds come from dirt and true angels come from earth. Rise above your disorder by:

  1. Accepting that there are many reasons as to why you have a mental illness and you are not one of them my friend.

  2. Having a mental illness is a test and/or trial. It’s part of life and everyone has their own share. Trust your struggles.

  3. Let your illness be your wisest teacher and best friend.

This process of purification and acceptance takes time. Get help from your support team and remember our blog is always here alhumdulillah 🙂

Check out these posts below in the “Seven Silly Mental Illness Misconceptions” series:

  1. “Call the shaykh! There’s a jinn in her!”

  2. “It’s all my fault”

  3. “Just pray more”

  4. Liver and Other Weird Treatments

  5. “You’re just weak!”

  6. Stupid, Crazy and a Retard

Enjoy and please do share so we can eradicate mental illness stigma once in for all.

#mentalillness #myfault #shame #Allah #Stigma #islam

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