I’m trying to come up with a list for you or something you can make a note of but I can’t.
It’s either I don’t have anything to share or that there’s just too much. Oddly enough, I think it’s a bit of both. I don’t have much to tell you about being pregnant and having a mental illness because I don’t actually know anything. Rather, what I have is experience and to me, sometimes, that matters more than what you would find in a textbook.
Accordingly to doctors and research reports, having a child while being bipolar is a huge risk, one they often do not recommend. Of course the final decision rests with the parents but there’s one thing to remember: the doctors, the researchers and even you and your power are not “god.” We don’t control life and we certainly don’t give life. We are merely a vessel. Our children are souls that travel through us but not from us.
Of course, you take precautions and do your work to ensure you have a healthy child but have a firm belief that there is a Power much higher than you, a Power that is beyond you in every sense.
I think that’s what I wish I knew before I got pregnant: I’m not alone. I have Allah’s support because human support is just not enough.
I might have a child or not. I might have a healthy baby or one that needs some extra attention. I might have one with hair like a gorilla or one that looks like a melon. But knowing that I’m not the only one at play here gives me comfort. It’s not a helpless feeling where I feel I have no control but that I have a Power supporting me.
I wish I knew that. I knew in my head that God was with me but it wasn’t in my heart. I didn’t really believe it. And that would have made all the difference. What difference?
How about you? Do you believe Allah is with you at all times? Or do you feel utterly alone? Or somewhere in the middle…comment below and let me know.