Well, are you?
Maybe you’re ashamed of your sibling or parent’s disorder?
I have to admit that at one time, I was so ashamed of my mental illness that I totally blocked the idea for over two years. I thought I’m “so intelligent”, how can I have a mental illness?
And there’s the rub.
Many (including me at one time) think mental illness = stupid, crazy, pagal and retarded.
Ayub alayhi salaam was severely tested with an illness for 7 years (some scholars say more). And he welcomed his tribulation. He didn’t hide from it or even complain about it once!
He wasn’t ashamed because he knew it was merely a test from Allah. Before his illness, Allah blessed him with vast farmlands, handsome sons, beautiful daughters, lots of money, cattle and servants to serve him.
Then one day, thieves attacked his farmland, killed many of his servants and took his cattle away. But he didn’t lament over his loss.
Then the roof of his house fell and many of his children were crushed under it. He was in shock but held tightly to the rope of Allah. He said these were just things Allah loaned to him. So he didn’t complain when the owner – Allah– took them back.
To top it off, Ayub alayhi salaam got a severe skin disease. He had loathsome sores all over his body and had hideous ulcers on his face and hands. The sores were full of worms. But he used to praise Allah for creating these worms!
How many of us will praise Allah during our bipolar moments? Curse, complain and shame might be more common in our times. The moments where we lose our sense of insight is not part of this.
Look at what Ayub alayhi salaam did when he couldn’t take it anymore. Look what he did when he got the “ha ha ha” from his ‘friends.’
He turned to Allah and said:
“Truly adversity has afflicted me and You are Most Merciful of all who show mercy.” Quran (21: 83)
Allah accepted his prayer:
“Then We heard his prayer and removed that adversity from which he suffered, and We gave him his household and the like thereof along with them, a mercy from Our store and remembrance for the worshippers.” Quran (21: 84)
With one hardship, indeed there is much relief.
Feel blessed and thank Allah for choosing to test you and polish your heart with bipolar. Do you still feel ashamed that Allah took your health away for a while or do you feel totally blessed that you can still read these words?
What path will you choose? Victim or Victor?