Episode 4 - Am I Enough?

I’m Saba Malik, and this is a Mini Mental.

I’m not enough. I’m not smart enough. I’m not pretty enough. I’m not rich enough. I’m not thin enough, tall enough, I’m not worthy enough. I’m just not enough. Does that sound familiar?

This kind of self talk…I’m sure it’s familiar to you because many of us think like that. And, frankly, you know, what? I’m done trying to prove to myself and others that I’m enough. You know, I tried those self affirmations, you’ve probably heard of that.

So I found this one that said to repeat “I am enough” 400 times a day. So I tried it for a week, you know, just wanted to try something and see if it could actually change my thinking. Well, it did somewhat, but not really, not at the core. And I think here’s the problem. When I say “I’m enough,” my brain automatically goes into, “Well, what makes you think that? What’s your evidence?” And then I need evidence to back it up. And honestly, no matter how much stuff I gather, how much proof I have, I found there’s always someone who is more rich, more smart, more pretty, more fast, more this, more that.

And then I heard this Ayah, which literally came as a “sign” to me. In Surah Az-Zumar, Ayah 36, Allah says, which translates to, “Is God not enough?” Bingo, hallelujah! I found my answer. I’ve been trying to be enough when Allah is enough for me. And knowing that gives me so much mental peace.

Honestly, managing a mental illness is like a full-time job that no one sees. And we’re always trying to measure up to “normal” people but what does Allah want? When I start to make that shift, I stop the “perform, perfect and please” pattern that we can all fall into.

Measure your worth, according to what Allah wants from you, not people. Make Allah the center of your gravity and orbit around Him, not people. There is only one God, Allah and pleasing Him and performing good actions for Him is way, way, way, way easier than trying to please others who are in their own struggles like you.

So ask yourself better questions. Rather than asking, “am I enough?” Ask yourself:

Are my actions enough for Allah?
Am I praying enough?
Am I giving enough?
Am I helping enough?
Am I being kind enough to myself?

Trust me, you’re not broken. It’s not that you’re not enough. It’s the measuring stick that you’ve been using. That measuring stick is broken. Measure your worth according to your actions for Allah.

Okay, that’s enough for me. See you in my next Mini Mental.

Asaalaamu alaikum